In the past, couples counseling has been used by engaged couples looking to ensure they are on the same page before getting married and by married couples looking to make a rocky relationship work. But these days, more couples are going to couples counseling early on in their relationship than ever before. If you are dating someone and things are not working out the way you had hoped, you may consider going to couples counseling to salvage the relationship. Learning the pros and cons of doing so can help you determine if it is right for your relationship.
The Cons of Going to Couples Counseling When You Are Still Dating
The Cost of Therapy
One of the biggest downsides to going to couples counseling is the cost. Couples counseling is usually not covered by your health insurance. And it can add up quickly. If money is a stressor in your life, you may be better off ending the relationship and walking away than investing money that you could use in other ways to better your life. Only you can decide if it is worth the cost or not, but be sure to find out how much the cost is for counseling when deciding whether to proceed with it.
You May Be Avoiding Letting Go
The other disadvantage to couples counseling early in a relationship is that you may be holding onto an unhealthy relationship. Not every person or every relationship is healthy for you. If you cannot let someone go, you may be co-dependent on them, they may be manipulating you, or you may have a hard time letting go of things. If a relationship is having issues within the first few months, you're typically better off letting go than trying to salvage something. Try to determine why this relationship is so hard for you to let go of before trying counseling to ensure you are not just continuing to feed an unhealthy relationship.
The Pros of Going to Couples Counseling When You Are Still Dating
You Can Build a Stronger Foundation for Your Relationship
One of the benefits to going to couples counseling early on is that you can build a stronger relationship. Many people communicate differently and these communication differences present challenges throughout the course of a relationship. Learning what each of you wants and how to communicate can help you avoid fights over the same issues and ensure you are on the same page before you invest your time and emotions into the relationship.
You Can Learn Skills You Can Apply to Your Life
The other benefit to couples counseling is that you can learn skills that you can apply to your life. Many of the skills you learn in couples counseling can be applied to other relationships in your life, including those with family and friends. If your current romantic relationship doesn't work out, you can take what you have learned and apply it to your next relationship as well. So the skills you learn are not wasted if your relationship does not progress with counseling.
Before attending couples counseling, you and your partner need to figure out what the key issues are and what your reasons for staying in the relationship are. If you genuinely love each other and simply have communication problems, counseling can help. However, if you both are scared of being single or working to overcome a major red flag early on in the relationship, it may be time to move on. Counseling can help, but it can't solve every problem or save every relationship. As such, you need to carefully consider whether it is right for you if you and your partner when your relationship is still in the dating phase. For more information, contact a business such as Blue Spruce Counseling.Share